I have been married for 7 years on December 26, and just reached the 8 year mark in our relationship altogether.  When Jas and I met, we liked each other, we hung out a bit, and the next thing you know, I’m very pregnant.  We pretty much skipped that whole dating phase, and went straight to middle-aged-dom of our relationship.  We married at Notre Dame on December 26, 2002.

There are times of course when I think we missed out. Missed out on the courting period where we presented our best outfits, our best thoughts, our funniest jokes, stayed up late for long phone conversations,   brushed hands and got butterflies, stole glances and got butterflies, got spooked about meeting the friends and family…you know, the usual dating milestones.

It occurred to me today when talking to my friend Adam, that there are a few other things we missed out on that I’m pretty freaking thankful for.  Texting, emailing, Facebooking, Myspacing, and Twittering.  Back then, a whole 9 years ago, none of those things existed.  If he didn’t call, well…he didn’t call.  (Of course, in my knocked up state, we were living together, but for a normal relationship I’m pretty sure living together wouldn’t even be considered until like the year mark.)

I’ve been contemplating this today.  In a world of new transparency, also transparent are our relationships, whether we want them to be or not.  Every single person that you know is on all of the social networks, and when you update one person, you update all persons with the touch of a button.

In a new relationship it seems like we tend to be more careful with what we post, but we must be careful. If you post less, will your new flame think you’re withholding?  If you post more, you risk a TMI overload.  If he/she doesn’t text, does is mean they’re less interested?  What if their texting volume decreases over time? Are they getting complacent?  What if they text too much? What if they friend your friends on Facebook? Is that too quick too soon? Do you want to share your friends with your current love interest?

When/if you break up, is your heartbreak public fodder to be discussed on the networks? Do you twitter about it? What’s the etiquette there if you’ve friended your best friend’s boyfriend? Do you publically proclaim how much the other person sucks and defend your friends honor?

Transparency is a touchy subject. Not just for Corporate America, but for we the people.  We’re conquering new mountains daily in technology, love and relationships, friendships and networking. I’ve watched a few different Facebook and Twitter exchanges that made me just scratch my head and think to myself “What in the SAM hell was going through their heads when they typed that…”

I urge you the reader to remember the guy in the car next to you at the stoplight who’s picking his nose like no one can see him.  He’s so comfortable in the comfort of his own car that he fails to realize that he’s surrounded by glass and the whole world can see him digging for the big one behind the wheel.

Like booger car guy, on the net, everyone can read this stuff. We can all see it. When you say how you’re falling in love with Joe the New Guy, not only will he see it, but likely all of his friends, all of your friends, and likely even your Grandma.  If that was a fleeting thought, and a spur of the moment thing that you wrote one day…you’re screwed.  Save the I love you’s for that special moment, in person over dinner or snuggling watching “Hope Floats” and don’t put it on the networks until you’ve said it in person.

The same thing applies for work. If you Facebook about how much your job sucks, there’s a real good chance that your boss, bored out of his/her mind one day may go “Oh, look, there’s (insert name here) on Facebook. I’m going to friend him/her!”  And the next thing you know, you’re in line for unemployment.  Remember that the next time you update your status with “Gearing up for another shitty work week!”

Don’t get me wrong. Technology is the glue that holds my life together. The running joke is that if I’m off skype for more than 2 hours, you should dial 911 because something horrible has happened.  I love technology.  Guess what else I love?  COMMON SENSE.

I’m just saying.  Think about what you write.  No one wants to air their romantic dirty laundry in front of Grandma or to just succinctly tell your boss you hate their guts and that you think your job is a mindless, boring waste of time that could be accomplished by trained garden gnomes.

I’m just glad that I didn’t have to go through the wonder, worry and craziness of Social Networking with my husband. I got him the old fashioned way – by getting all knocked up and setting the date myself.  Bwahahaha.